An Angel was born...

On November 19, 1918 an angel was born and her name is Carrie Ophelia Strickland-Boykin. This is a piece that I played around with to get my thoughts and feelings on paper.

God shared her with us but for an appointed season

During which time

She taught us to laugh

Give selflessly

And to love abundantly

She taught us that from little you could gain much

And she taught us that love, not money, answers all things

She walked boldly in a spirit of meekness and humility

Taught us how to treat everybody right including our enemies

And to do unto others as you would have them do unto you

To walk in truth

Although she was a woman of few words

When she spoke it was voluminous

Although she could not carry a tune to save her life

Her spirit sang with soul like Aretha

It was luminous

I can see her so vividly right now

Sitting on the 6^th pew clapping off beat

Giving God praise

Patting her lap and tapping her feet

I smile

I can almost hear her heart beat

Until I realize that one glad morning

That began with mourning

God called her home to rest in the heavily hills

In a city called heaven

Set aside

For those to reside

That lived virtuously

And gave forth life

That supplied the world with light

And that light that she instilled in me

It lives in me

Daily I contemplate

What would have happened had fate

Not taken me from the north side of a city to the

Eastside of the tracks

Had I never made it to Keys Street where would I be?

Honestly I could not imagine how my life would be

Had I not had her

And she not had me

Figuratively

Could we exist separately?

Metaphorically

I believe that God wove her together in her mother’s womb

Just for me

Without Ophelia Boykin there would be no Tree

No purpose

No mission

No pending disposition

No definition

No convention

No @ mention

Just a shell of a person

Flooded by emotions

Lacking devotion

But because He loved me

So Unconditionally

He pre-destined before the very foundation of the world

That he would send an angel in human form

To save the life of this little girl

And for that I am grateful daily

God loved me so much He not only sent Jesus to Calvary

He also designed a heavenly angel to raise

And watch over me

And although I did not always cherish that gift

He allotted time for me to make amends

Seek forgiveness & give restitutions

Before The End

And at The End

I began to see that it was bigger than me

This woman changed the life of my entire family

Through humility and grace

She ran her Christian race

And on July 1, 2006

Peacefully

She met our King

Elohim

Rest in Peace

My sweet Queen

 

Sandtrice Denise Russell

Victim

Victim

I wonder why the worst tears are the silent ones never to be heard

Hidden in the heart of a blameless little girl

Betrayed by some pervert

Not nourished by her life support system

But nourished by her life giver

Confused as to what she did to deserve

Such bitter pain

Nearly going insane

Yet she never complains

She fights back the tears and gets used

To the abuse

It’s all she’s ever known anyway

She keeps lookin for a brighter day to end life’s disarray

The light that once lit her soul

Seems distant

The angels that were heaven sent

Seem to have been sent back to heaven

This girl is only eleven

And this has been happening since she was seven

She cries at night, yet no one would believe

In fact their minds couldn’t possibly conceive

Nor could their spirit receive

The pain that this girl has endured

Little girls are supposed to be pure, I’m sure

After all they’re made of sugar and spice and everything nice

Nice enough to make some pervert defile her temple

It seems so easy to get over but it’s not that simple

Even though her predator is behind bars

It doesn’t erase the scars of her youth

God’s truth seems ruthless

To a girl that has only known how to lay on her back

And get slapped around by a man three times her size

Sad to say in her happy meal box their was no prize

You can see the pain in her eyes

Each night as he made her spread her thighs

And she’d cry and cry but

No one could hear her screams

In a world so mean

And cold with the spirit of perversion running around so bold

In this world that seems to be void and without form

Guess child molestation and pedophilia is the norm

Right along with kiddie porn

Where have our morals gone?

Victims don’t have to become victimizers

The earth needs a re-sensitizer

We need to develop a backbone and walk in Truth

Our we’ll forever cover the scars and be victims of our youth.

Sandtrice Denise Russell

Copyright ©2006 Sandtrice Denise Russell

God is Still God..

I don't intend for this post to be long or dramatic... but I will say this... What goes around, comes back around... I've never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed beg for bread... I remember quite vividly when I had to trust God each day for food, water, and shelter... and while I stilll trust him I've learned that as when we become more comfortable with ourselves, position, status we tend to forget that we need God more than we need anything....

While this is not the case with me, I do recognize that God is trying to teach me something through this experience... If God will allow someone to remove me from my job of a year and a month who has only been on the job for 9 days without giving me a snow-ball's chance in hell.. God has to be up to something AMAZING... This has to be a set up for an AMAZING breakthrough.. My brain can not fathom what God has in store for me, but until then I'll just have to trust God...

Part of me wants to raise hell and act a fool... but it's something about approaching 30 that won't allow me to jeopardize my integrity---- One thing that I do know for certain..... NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!!!!


Treesie Z.

Just in Case

LOL weird that that was the title of the eulogy sermon that Pastor Lancaster delivered at the funeral of the late, great, Carrie Ophelia Boykin--- my queen, my everything... -- But just in case you don't know how Good my God is.. I'm gonna take a second just to inform you!! LOL... God is so faithful, he is so not like man... God watches over us each and every day and he ensures that all of our needs are met. God has truly brought me from some very low places and has now sat me upon the mountain top... He is truly amazing. Every day that i wake up with breath in my body, I am so thankful and grateful because I know that it is God that now only allows me to arise each day, but he also allows me to spend each day of my life doing what I love to do. (Empowering others to prosper)  I wake up each day with purpose and in order to fulfill my God ordained purpose to touch the lives of others and I am also fortunate enough to enjoy every second of my life in the mean time.

I've been in the Clinical Mental Health Counseling program at Troy University since January of 2009. Since enrolling I've experienced many hardships and setbacks. My graduation date has moved more times than I can count or care to remember, I lost my job of 3 years with a company that I helped stay afloat with not so much as an explanation or a sorry, I was unemployed for a year and a half (by choice) following being "laid off" and all of this happened after I stepped out on faith and began rebuilding my very existence and lively hood..... BUT GOD.. supplied each and everyone of my needs. I received my weekly unemployment stipend which was surprisingly sufficient, got to do some traveling, communisty service projects, found love....  but I often wondered how would I sustain myself financially once my unemployment ran out and I had to commit to an unpaid internship in order to complete my degree. In December of 2010, I began to panic beause I was no longer in control of my life-- I began looking for employment and trying to figure out how I would stay afloat-- and then I did an online search at INDEED.com and came across an instructor position for a company that seemed to good to be true. Within a week I had interviewed, got the job, passed the drug screen, and began working. After my 8 weeks of temp employment I was promoted to an Interim Case Manager and 8 months later, I moved from Temporary to Regular employment.

While I'm currently working 60+ hours most weeks between my internship and my full-time job, God's peace is keeping me sane, and he continues to provide me with double for my trouble.. So just in case you are going through a situation and you feel like God isn't there. You may be struggling trying to figure out where your next paycheck is coming from or your next meal period. Please know that God is faithful and the prayers of the righteous will avail. Keep trusting, and keep believing in the Power of his Word. God is not a respector of persons and that which God is doing for me, He will do for you. But always remember that To Whom much is Given, Much is require. Spread the God new and know that God hath need of thee.  One reason that you'll never hear me argue with a RELIGIOUS fool regarding their opinion of my life or what they consider to be a "lifestyle"  is because the FAVOR of God that is on my life can not be argued with. It's like my big sis used to say-- Take it up with God!! --- But I'm telling you-- Take it to God!! He will do exceedingly and abundantly above all you could ever ask or think accordign to the power that works in us.  -- Seek the Kingdom of Heaven and His righetousness and everything else will be added..... Just in Case you didn't know..

Treesie Z.

New Year, New M3

First of all, I can't believe I haven't blogged since October. I don't know what's up with that.. but a lot has definitely happened since then. I'd dare to say that I've grown a lot since then. I'm noticing this small, yet profound changes in the way that I handle this thing called life. I guess I'm growing up... Learning from my past and enjoying every moment of the present (after all it is a gift). January of this month was awesome. Had a lot of fun celebrating Courtney's graduation and Tim's birthday. This week- I'm celebrating me and getting some much needed local rest.. But the fact that I'm in sync with my body is astronomical because typically I would go until I crash!! I'm eating better (no pork or beef) and I'm trying to exercise at least 2x a week. Not doing so well with my soda intake-- but I still have time to improve. Also I've made a committment to attend church at least 2x per calendar month over the next 365 days (Tx plan writing at its finest) ----

Things are going well with my Booka.. March 29 will make 2 years since we've been official and December 1st marked 2 years of us dating (We have two anniversaries because -- well that's a long story.. Looking forward to a vacay in a few months.. It's gonna be awesome.. My internship is going well.. Work is going well.. this semester has been less stressful and I've taken charge of some things mentally that I've previously been unable to manage. Focusing my thoughts on positive things and moving forward.. sometimes the past serves as a means of keeping you from reaching that which is before you--- but I've conqured my past through much prayer and the guidance of Jesus and I have embraced the gift of Goodbye..

Love is patient, Love is kind.... but above all God is LOVE!!!

Forgive us Our Debts..

Forgiveness is a bit of a difficult area for me... not because I'm a mean insensitive *****... but because it's something that simply takes time... Today in Theological Reflections we discussed the power of forgiveness and I began to examine how I forgive or rather fail to forgive others. I shared with the group about how forgiving my parents is something that I have to actively work towards on a daily basis.

I also have a difficult time forgiving those that hurt me to the core.-- As I get older I'm learning to let things go.... but after I let it go I still don't want anything to do with someone that intentionally sought to hurt me.. I guess it goes back to that age old saying-- Fool me Once, Shame on You, Fool me Twice, Shame on Me.... I think that's why getting over my last relationship was so difficulty because I was fooled twice and I should have never looked back. According to my role models on Sex in the City, It takes half the time of the relationship to get over a person or get to the point of forgiveness. That was a long process for me; however, once I truly let go I was able live my life again and enjoy every moment of being me. So I guess forgiveness is a good thing....

Recently I began interacting with my first girlfriend more often that I'd ever been able to do since we broke up in 2004. I told her after we broke up that I hoped that one day we would be able to be friends and although it took 7 years in order to reach this point, the act of reaching this point gives me hope in all failed relationships/friendships etc.. With healing and forgiveness anything is possible. I'm focusing on this relationship because I'm friends or at least civil with all of my exes with the exception of one. One that I'm not even sure I would ever want to be cordial with. But after forgivness healing and wellness can occur... At least that's my opinion. If we forgive others, God will Forgive us....

Treesie Z.

Growth and Maturity...

Since I'm sitting under this blazing hot dryer I thought I'd take a moment to reflect over the past 10 years of my life... on September 11, 2001 I was sitting in my BUSA 1900 class (Surfing the Internet for Success)--- a bird course that I decided to take my freshman year at SUWG... I didn't realize when I signed up for the course during our summer orientation that it would be one of the only classes that i truly remembered from my time at UWG.. About 45 minutes into our 8:00 a.m. class (a class I was of course not too fond of) our teacher directed us to CNN.com where we were informed of a plane flying through the first tower.... minutes later we watched as the 2nd plane went through the 2nd tower... We were immediately released from class and the rest of our classes were canceled for the day... As I left the Richard College of Business building I walked back to my dorm room (Row Hall 2E) and I was completely dumbfounded and afraid... 1) Because I had no clue what the World Trade Center was and 2) because I was afraid that an attack might come to Georgia.... Ignorance and Selfishness are the two thoughts that go through my mind as I recall that day 10 years ago...

However; 10 years later, I can't even think about the 9/11 attack or watch a movie or documentary about the attack without crying my eyes out... on August 20, 2010 I had the opportunity to stay across the street from Ground Zero at the Hilton Millenium Hotel and each night I looked out of our hotel window as the memorial site was constructed.... I can only imagine the devastation that took place on that day and the amount of pain that this national disaster caused.... 10 years later I look back with an empathetic heart and I extend my heart felt condolenses to all of those who were affected by the attack...

Looking back, I can't help but to examine why as an 18 year old freshman college student I lacked the ability to fully understand the significance of the loss that our country suffered as a nation and the individual loses that each family member/survivor suffered... I am however grateful that God has now given me the capacity to love endlessly and provided me with a new heart. I'm even learning that I've grown in my personal relationships.... One of my mother's Wendy Brewer used to always make this statement "What a Difference a Day Makes"---- Really.. Thank you God for making a difference in me....

Treesie Z.